Learning to Be the Love I Needed

Lately, I’ve been on a journey — not with someone else, but with myself. I’m learning what it means to date myself.

That might sound silly at first, but the more I lean into it, the more powerful it becomes. I’ve spent so much of my life searching for love and validation in others, but now I’m discovering the beauty of finding it within. I’ve begun doing small things that show myself care — buying flowers for no one but me, taking myself to dinner or a movie, writing love notes in my journal as reminders that I am enough. I even bought myself a ring that looks real, won't turn my finger green, and reminds me that I'm working on myself.

Recently, I gave someone a chance. A man. It didn’t take long — just three days — for him to confirm the fears I’ve spent years trying to unlearn: the need to control, to fix, to dominate, to manipulate. But this time, I saw it for what it was. And I walked away. No begging, no second-guessing, no making myself smaller to make someone else feel big.

That might sound small to some people, but for me, it was revolutionary.

I’m not saying I’ve figured it all out, or that I don’t still feel lonely sometimes. But I am saying this: I no longer wait for someone else to make me feel valued. I’m building a relationship with myself. I'm learning to love the way I want to be loved — with patience, kindness, and intention.

And yes, I listen to podcasts that help. Some hosted by people half my age. I don’t care. It’s never too late to grow.

So, here’s to long walks alone. To solo dates and quiet mornings. To laughing at your own jokes and dancing to your own rhythm. To finally treating yourself the way you always wished someone would.

Because when you date yourself, you stop settling for half-loves and broken promises. You start showing up for you. And that’s the kind of love that lasts.

I'm learning to be the love that I needed.