🍕 "Color Me Salty" – A Poem for the Emotionally Snacky 🍟

There’s something wildly comforting about coloring a pizza slice that screams, “Back the fork off.” No, really. It’s become one of my most unexpectedly effective coping tools. A grown-up coloring book filled with food that curses like a sailor might sound ridiculous—or even offensive to some—but it’s been a soft landing place on some very hard days.

This little ritual is one of many things I do to distract myself when my moods are hard to manage. Some days, my emotions don’t just knock—they bust the door down with muddy boots and demand to be felt right now. On those days, therapy and mindfulness sometimes feel like shouting into a void. But picking up a marker and shading in an angry donut that says, “Bite me,” somehow reaches me in a way that words can’t.

I’m aware that not everyone would understand. Some might raise an eyebrow. Some might even get offended. And honestly? That’s fine. If this isn’t your flavor of healing, then it’s simply not for you. But I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not raging into traffic or saying these things out loud to real people. I’m just gently letting a slice of bread with resting grump face remind me that even toast has bad days.

Most people I know secretly find this hilarious—but would never admit it in public. (But that’s a whole different post for another time.) There’s this weird shame around what actually works when you’re trying to survive your own mind. As if healing has to look holy or graceful or come with incense and silent retreats. Mine just happens to involve foul-mouthed food and Crayola markers.

And guess what? It helps.

It lets me channel big feelings into small, manageable moments. It lets me laugh when I feel like crying. It gives my mind something to focus on besides spiraling.

So if you’re struggling—and traditional self-care just isn’t cutting it—maybe what you need isn’t a deep meditation.

Maybe it’s a pissed-off pancake yelling, “Fluff off.”

We all heal in our own weird, wonderful ways. This just happens to be one of mine. And if you’re lucky, maybe one day I’ll color you a muffin that says “Suck it.” With love, of course.

If you have an emotionally snacky way of healing, please share with me so I can share with others!